The Big Brother...



Zelda...



And the wonder twins... (Kurt is in the purple cap, Jay is in the striped cap)



Did I mention that MY middle name is Jay?

The twins are finally here and everyone's doing well. Here, Marit and Evan are checking to make sure they don't have some 6-fingered freak as a brother. Luckily, they don't...



Kurt Allen and Jay William -- the latest of my clone army. The first phase of my master plan is complete. With genetic replicants, there's no place left to hide. The State Fair... It will soon be OURS!!!... Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha (cough, cough, cough)...

The next phase of the master plan involves removing those meddling Olsen Twins. Just you wait Mary Kate and Ashley!

Kurt and Jay. I'm glad they didn't name one Rodney. That would be pretty bad. Kurt and Rod. Think about it.

Anyway, a very busy but exciting day... I didn't get many pictures of the little dudes -- but I did take some movies. I even took a cameo appearance to explain how technology worked on the day that they were born -- from Dad's wireless Hiptop taking small grainy photos and uploading them into a web browser, and then instant messaging people. Can you imagine what will be possible 21 years from now?

Just amazing.

UPDATE! They're here! Everyone's doing fine!

Pic's already posted.

---

The twins are due today. My brother will keep us posted by using his wireless hiptop and the twin update blog ...

By defininition, there is no stupid news today.

Waiting.

I goofed off too much this weekend (as if you can do such a thing), so I ain't got much to share today...

Cringely has an interesting business model that could break the RIAA's back. It's doubtful that it'll happen, but I like thinking about it... I hope somebody tries this.

I got my new McSweeney's issue 11, and I've just started paging through it. This one even comes with a multimedia DVD featuring some readings by the authors and guerilla documentary type stuff. It'll probably have to wait until the State Fair time for me to plough into it. Until then, check out McSweeney's Potential titles for the next installment of the Harry Potter Series, as co-authored by Judy Blume.

This is kind of fun. Check out the interesting new domain names that are just becoming available. I like www.apefruit.com and www.squishingly.com -- they're still available...

Almost as fun as a real cat.

Stare at this for a bit. Then say, Thank God It's Friday. Then get some coffee. That's what I've done this morning...

Weird game about work. Did I mention it's Friday?

Friday is Hawaiin shirt day. Celebrate by playing some quotes from Office Space.

Interesting. Somebody at the U of M made a font that changes based on the local weather conditions in Minneapolis. Check it out

Strange bedfellows. IBM is getting into a new line of business -- making movies.

Of course, Apple's already in the game... aren't they?

Flash mob. Interesting concept. You organize a "mob" scene via e-mail, and at a predetermined time everyone shows up and does something odd. For example, they just did the first documented Minnesota one down at the Mall of America. Within minutes, about 60 people showed up and started walking around like robots, and then dispersed... One of my favorite local sites -- Fimoculous -- seems to have started it. Touche'....

And you know what I'm thinking? Yep.

State Fair Flash Mob... Now, how to organize something like this... Stay tuned, I'll have to think about this a little...

And now, for your daily amusement -- from Lilek's Official Institute of Cheer -- The Story of Bread. Enjoy.

Also, we've got the Rockin' Ribfest going on downtown... I might have to check it out over lunch today.

Five gay men, out to make over the world — one straight guy at time. Ah, you gotta love reality TV...

New show: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. They are the Fab Five: an elite team of gay men who have dedicated their lives to extolling the simple virtues of style, taste and class. Each week their mission is to transform a style-deficient and culture-deprived straight man from drab to fab in each of their respective categories: fashion, food and wine, interior design, grooming and culture.

Episode #1: Rep. Arlon Lindner!

Vern Troyer (aka Mini-me) gets engaged to a 6'2" yoga instructor. But?... how?... wha?....

Some folk'll never eat a skunk but then again some folk'll, like Cletus the slack jawed yokel. Most folk'll never lose a toe and then again some folk'll, like Cletus the slack jawed yokel. Check out some of the obscure Simpsons references.

McSweeney's list of Radiohead Song Titles Vetoed By Thom Yorke.

Had a pretty good weekend. My niece's birthday is officially on July 30th, but since it's quite conceivable that I'll have twin nephews by then, we celebrated her birthday on Saturday.

Quite possibly the best thing about have a 3 year old niece is that I FINALLY had an excuse to go to Target and buy Hello, Kitty bed sheets. When the check-out clerk said, "Looks like someone's having a birthday..." it was all I could do to stop myself from blurting out in the gayest voice possible, "why THANK YOU!..." But I didn't do that. Really.



Other things:

My brother caught this. Last week I linked to a study that listed Minneapolis is the most literate city. The first rule about publishing the results of a literacy study -- spell circulation correctly. Methinks Mike have graduated from UW-Whitewater...

It's Friday and the Aquatennial celebrations start today. Tonight Ziggy Marley's playing at the Hennepin Block Party... If you go, make sure you print out this handy Hipster Bingo card.

This link would have been more appropriate yesterday -- I work with fools.

I want one. Magnetic Mousetrap for your fridge or file cabinet. Rube Goldberg, watch out!

That's it for today. Takin' the afternoon off to do... well, I haven't figured that out yet, but I'm sure I'll think of something...

Wow! Talk about a great job. Check this out...


This an actual, unaltered business card from my marketing counter-part at work, who just left to start his own business. Hey Mike, the first rule of effective PR -- spell Public Relations correctly.

Now, what to do with all of these cards he left. Hmmm.

(oh, and Mike, if you're reading this... just supposin' you get sent a couple of free pass to the Gay 90's because you won a contest by dropping your business card into a fish bowl... well, no need to thank me.)

I'll be having lots of fun passing these around town...

I finally got my favorite movie on DVD -- Wings of Desire. I've been waiting for this sucker to come out on DVD forever...

While its my favorite, I'm not recommending it to everyone. 1) it's foreign, 2) it's in black-and-white (mostly), 3) it's very long, 4) there's no action, and 5) it's based on theme more than plot.

On the other hand, it has Columbo playing a angel and Nick Cave..

Read the review here to see if it's for you.

Minneapolis was voted #1 for the most literate city. Sorry for bringing down the average.

Pirate music is making a comeback. For instance, pirate music sounds good when you're drinking. Also, he says pirate musicians were the original punk rockers, "especially those who sang nasty songs about the Captain's daughter."

Which begs the question: Who had better hygiene and dental care -- Pirates or The Sex Pistols?

Speaking of which, The Sex Pistols want to play Baghdad. Rock the casbah!

Local columnist/crackpot James Lileks newest experience -- getting photoshopped.

It's about damn time. Finally, a DVD collection of Looney Tunes classics.

Strib article about the winners of this year's McKnight screenwriting fellowship. One of the winners also has a blog.

House for sale. Only $800K for a beautiful house tucked up in the Hollywood hills. Even has a 90210 (Beverly Hills) area code. Of course, they fail to mention one thing: This is the house where Charles Manson and his family murdered Sharon Tate. Spooky.

Okay, this is a bit much. Thus Spake 007: From Übermensch To Psychosexual Fetish Object -- postmodern literary scholars have way too much time on their hands.

James Bond could be seen as a modern embodiment of the agonistic spirit, of Nietzsche's assertion that "the cruelty of victory is the pinnacle of life's jubilation." Uh. Right.

007 provides, in that sense, the literal enactment of Zarathustra's proclamation that "The devotion of the greatest is to encounter risk and danger and play dice with death." Uh huh.

Alongside his decisive unconcern with the accrual of money, we may add his apparent lack of personal memory or even family history, his incessant fatalism, his mostly untroubled relation to killing others, and his utterly corporeal interaction with the phenomenal world.

Yah. Okay. Just two words. Chicks and gadgets. C'mon, people, it's all about the chicks and gadgets. Sheesh.

And yet further stupid research: What your musical tastes say about you. People who favour Madonna's Material Girl, for example, are likely to be cheerful, outgoing and reliable. And retarded, most likely. I read through the rest of the list and it's crappy. I don't like any of these songs, so I guess that makes me the embodiment of the agnostic spirit, of Nietzche's assertion that "the cruelty of Madonna is the pinnacle of life's jubilation."

I'm currently listening to Neko Case.

Well, I didn't make it to see Pirates of the Caribbean this weekend, but it's still on my list. Apparently Johnny Depp tried to model his pirate character after Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew. Ahhh, you like, mon cheri?... Oui!

Try this. An ergonomically-designed Pirate keyboard.

Wacky Finns. In addition to the Wife-Carrying contest, this summer's calendar features world championships in Sauna Sitting, Mosquito Swatting, Mobile Phone Throwing, Air Guitar, Boot Throwing and Swamp Soccer, to name but a few. While none of these championships stand a chance of becoming Olympic events, they are hugely popular.

Battle of the ice creams -- The Hulk vs. Spongebob Squarepants.

Sigh. Jazz great Benny Carter passed away. He was 95. I've seen him a couple of times, the last being on his 85th birthday at a jazz club in Boston. And let me tell you, he still could still swing at 85. "You got Duke Ellington, Count Basie, and my man, the Earl of Hines, right? Well, Benny's right up there with all them cats. Everybody that knows who he is calls him 'King.' He is a king," Louis Armstrong once said.

Go to Amazon and listen to some clips.

And visit his web site.

Heat of the Moment...

And now you find yourself in '82
The disco hot spots hold no charm for you
You can concern yourself with bigger things
You catch a pearl and ride the dragon's wings


Wow. Those lyrics really suck. But, okay, I'll admit it. I had an Asia tape back in the 80's (and yes, I enjoyed it). Now they're back, and they're rocking out their tour starting in... Trimont, Minnesota?

What's your favorite album? Find out what this angry Scottish bloke has to say about it.

The first rule of 4-H camp is: You Do Not Talk About 4-H Camp!

Quite brilliant. A hybrid of The Matrix and... ping pong?

And finally, another video flashback to the 80's... Don't Copy That Floppy.

Hmmm. Trying to thing of new ways of serving the pronto pup -- and came across this: Weiner Origami and Octodog. Tres cool.

Make some Fireworks... At your desk.

It's a car... no, wait, it's a duck... Carl, is that a duck? A pig? A telephone?... Jesus, Carl -- that's the dumbest looking... Uh, Carl, put down that belt, okay... Inmate freaks out over a game of Pictionary gone bad.

Hmmm. Microsoft is giving away free eBooks to try to help people get used to the format. And not totally crappy books, either. Bestsellers. I just downloaded Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything.

Now, will I actually READ it at my computer? Not likely. But at least I have it. And after all, isn't that what matters.

Maxim Magazine's -- the definite source on... absolutely nothing -- choice for the worst 30 albums of all time. Notably missing and my personal favorite (the first CD I ever bought, honest to god) -- The Best of Canned Heat, featuring their all time classic, Fried Hockey Boogie. This CD is so bad it transcends badness into velvety goodness.

Weird. Gobler Toys and a Sex Pistols Lunch Box.

More info on collaborative filtering (the amusing technology that Amazon and other web sites use to help determine what I like). Honestly, I really do like the Amazon.com recommendations for the most part. Netlix, on the other hand. Pee-yew! I have reviewed over 400 movies and it still knows NOTHING about what I like. You might also like... Kangaroo Jack... You might also like... Billboard Dad...

Of course, I did put The Real Cancun on my to watch list, so maybe I'm partially to blame...

Let's see. Cue daydream music and wavey video effect... If I ran my own company. Hmmm...

This just in: F---ing pinata finally breaks.

Jeb Bush, living up to the family name. On his recent visit to Toronto: "As a Floridian travelling overseas, I'm travelling to Canada, so I hope people would appreciate that as well."

Which sea would that be, Jeb?

Amazon's recommendation engine continues to amaze (and amuse me). Here's what it found for me yesterday -- A Beef Jerky Gun. So, of course I click on it because I'm curious, and now it starts recommending other Jerky related items, like this book disturbingly called Just Jerky: The Complete Guide to Making It.

Oh, Amazon, what will you have for me next? I await in eager anticipation...

Interesting article on Slate about abolishing the 'government' recognition of marriage. Touche. You can still get married, of course, through whatever religious affiliation you want -- but it would keep the government out of the picture. The so-called 'marriage penalty' at tax time? Problem solved. What a great idea.

Fascinating 360 view of the 4th of July fireworks as seen from the top of the Empire State building.

More camera fun. This guy uses his mobile camera phone to take pictures of celebrities having coffee at the Starbucks on Melrose and Stanley in Hollywood.

It's already past the 4th, so if you haven't had lots of ice cream yet, now's the time to get started... Some Sundae ideas for you.

Pictures from the 4th of July parade in Delano.

A few notes about the pictures. The "3 guys wearing weird hats and walking on a 2x4 ski" -- that wasn't an official part of the parade. Those are my Mom's neighbors. Seriously.

Also, my download pick of the week is the Google toolbar (get the Beta version). In addition to the other cool features, it has a pop-up blocker which works great.

Quick update on the Har Mar picture for the Japanese magazine picture: The editor is still choosing pictures, but I'm still in the running. They're going to send me the issue once it comes out. Stay tuned...

More information that you ever wanted to know about the word Dude.

And, if you're a fan of the Coen Bros. movie "The Big Lebowski", you can visit the Dude's House.

How fireworks work.

That's it for today... I'm heading over to Delano tomorrow to watch the big parade. Don't worry, I'll bring my camera. My favorite all-time float (which I hope will be there again) is from Gene's Septic Services, where his motto is: "Gene's the name... Poop's the game..."

Small town parades are fun.

Too funny. I just got an e-mail from the editor of a Japanese music magazine, aptly named Music Magazine. They're getting ready to do an issue on "recreating the New Wave", featuring Japan's newest hit -- Har Mar Superstar. They asked for my permission to publish this photo I took of Har Mar last year at the fair.

Of course I agreed. So, I guess I can add soon-to-be-published rock photojournalist right next to pronto pup expert on my resume...

Maybe I'll learn some Japanese so I can read it when the issue comes out. Or then again, maybe not.

I love Johnny Cash.

...and if Johnny Cash was an astronomer or an arborist...

Last night I watched Rabbit-Proof Fence. Despite Mr. Cranky's review, I thought this was one of the best films I've seen in a long time. True, there isn't much action in it, but the story and acting is powerful. I'd recommend it.

Interesting (a-hem) parody of the Honda video. (Note: You have to wait a few seconds when you get to the fake newspaper ad, then "enter" the site, and then click on the television screen with the big tire -- I wouldn't put you through this unless it was funny, so just do it...)

Travel abroad safely with this new T-shirt. I'm sorry my president's an idiot. I didn't vote for him. In all of the official UN languages.

Dumb and Astronomically Brilliant. Jim Carrey gets run over by Stephen Hawking. No, really...

Whoaa!!! The Stratosphere is Vegas is getting a new thrill ride. I'm freaking out just watching the concept...

And finally, I actually stumbled across this site when searching for real work-related stuff. For 10 bucks, you can have a guy making monkey sounds call you. Seriously.

Hunka hunka burnin' love... Elvis Pizza.