What's your political compass. Here's my stats:

Economic Left/Right: -6.00
Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.21

Or, click to see it on the graph.

I'm firmly on the left side of the political spectrum, and comfortably Libertarian -- no surprises here. I'm in the same portion of the quadrant as the Dalai Lama, Ghandi, and Nelson Mandela.

By the way, the Universe is laughing behind your back. Not that it should come as any great surprise to you.

Fans of A Christmas Story rejoice. The Leglamp is now available, just in time for Christmas. And if you ever wondered what happened to that little kid -- Peter Billingsly -- he's now a movie producer and works with Jon Favreau on IFC's Dinner for Five.

Well, I waffled a bit on where to go over the weekend. At first, I thought about going North, up to Maine and then New Hampshire. Then I pondered going down the coast to Cape Cod, and stopping at the small town of Sandwich, only to ironically order a salad for lunch. Ultimately, I settled on the trip west.

Day 1 was mostly just driving around. It was rainy, so I didn't even get out my camera. Still quite relaxing just cruising around. I had a big-ass SUV (a necessity when driving around Boston) and got lost several times. I dipped down to Connecticut, and then spent the night in Worcester. I saw trees, mostly. Big green trees.

The following morning I headed North -- figuring that I'd stop at my old apartment, and then cruise up to New Hampshire. Since the leaves were still green here, I figured I'd have better luck up north. As luck would have it, it rained again. So I rolled out early -- first stop was Boxborough and Harvard, my temporary home oh-so-many years ago...



After checking out my old apartment (it's still there), I made my way up to the little road and fields that were just a couple hundred yards in back. The pictures I took did not do the scene justice. There was a misty fog covering the fields and it just took my breath away. In my mind, I kind of wondered if I'd romanticized the place. Nope. It's really this spectacular.



This 2nd picture is just up the road, on the farm where J. Geils (of the J. Geils Band) lives. I know this because my old co-worker's wife was a realtor and sold the property to him. One can only imagine him wandering down these beautiful country lanes and sweeping fields, drawing inspiration to write such heart-wrenching ballads as "Centerfold" and "Love Stinks".

Also, did you know that the guy who (invented?) the Pet Rock, that wacky 70's phenomena, was from Harvard, Mass.?

After my nostalgia tour, I drove mid-way up into New Hampshire before realizing that there's nothing there. Just a bunch of trees and stuff, which was getting boring, especially after spending the previous day driving around in and amongst trees. Thoreau makes it sound pretty deep and soulful and introspective, but it's not. They're just trees. And they were still pretty green. And singing "Centerfold" when you're driving doesn't help.

So, on a whim, I turned back and headed to Salem. There, I visited two witch museums and a pirate museum, Nathaniel Hawthorne's birthplace, and the famous House of the Seven Gables, a big ship, and a bunch of spooky gardens. Two full days of leaf peeping is too much (when you're alone, anyway). But, one day of leaf peepin' and one day of going to witch museums -- that's the right balance.

So that was it. Here's some pictures from New England.

Leaf peepin'

Heading west of Boston today. I'm going to take the subway to the airport, pick up a rental car, and then travel west -- probably to Worcester (pronounced "Woostuh" in these parts) in the central part of the state. It might be a little early to see the peak colors, but who knows.

Back to my normal routine on Monday...

Interesting evening last night. After the long show, we were a bit tired and not really up to the show party -- 2 live bands at some swanky boston club, and "after hours dancing with DJ Shay until 2am". The problem? This show is the penultimate techno-geek show. 90% of the attendees are men -- many are engineers -- and all are nerds. The conversations usually are riveting expositions on which protocol is better -- H.323 or SIP. The appeal of that crowd with DJ Shay and dancing until 2am?... I just don't get it. Who's dancing?

No, I don't want to know.

So, we opted for something simpler -- pizza and beer and calling it an early night. We passed several places, and decided to go for a local pizza joint instead of UNO's. When in Rome, you know... Anyway, our CEO saw a place not far from our hotel, so we decided to check that out.

Here's the funny part. In terms of a local pizza and suds place, this was NOT quite what we were expecting. We were greeted at the door by 2 waitresses in Britney Spears schoolgirl uniforms. Our waitress probably turned 18 days earlier. It was almost comical when she couldn't get our beers because she couldn't find the bartender, and she was too young to pour them herself. It was like a Hooters, but without the class. Yeah, think about it.

Still, the wings and pizza and beer were decent, so no complaints. The show ends today. Can't wait...

Currently in beantown. Not much new to report. Last night we had dinner in a little Irish pub, and watched the Red Sox pulled out a miraculous win in the bottom of the 9th. Normally, I wouldn't care. But it was fun watching all of these rapid Boston fans freak out and dance and scream (we're just a few blocks away from Fenway). Bahstonites sure do love their baseball.

Down the street from the hotel is a little bar called Bukowski's, with a neon sign that reads "Dead Author's Bar". It probably has some connection to the patron saint of drunken poets -- Charles Bukowski -- I might have to check that out. I hope it's as grungy and downtrodden as I hope it to be. I've never had a rye whiskey, so I might have to try that. It would be an appropriate place.

Just found a review of it -- sounds a little pretentious, but, well... I got nothing better to do.

Heading out to Boston tomorrow. A tradeshow for most of the week, and then I'll be spending Friday and Saturday wandering up into the heart of New England. If you've never been to New England in the fall -- put it on your list. It's a must.

A while back, with my former employer, I spent about 3-months stationed at a little outpost just outside of Boston. The outpost consisted of a small apartment in Boxborough -- just off Route 2 coming from Boston and otherwise known as the Freedom Trail. It's the route that Paul Revere used on his famous midnight ride. It passes through Lexington, then Concord, and after a few twisty turns into the forest, you'll eventually hit Boxborough. It reminds me of Sleepy Hollow country. Probably because it is.

Not far from my apartment was Walden Pond, where Thoreau did his most famous work.

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan- like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion."

One weekend -- probably around this time of year -- I drove up to Vermont, then over to New Hampshire and Maine. In New Hampshire, I stopped at Robert Frost's house (now a museum). It was closed, but they allowed you to walk along the trails in the woods, and I read his poetry conveniently posted on little signs. I remember reading one of his most famous poems -- The Road Not Taken -- which was written on a sign next to two paths.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I'm not exactly sure what I'll do on Friday and Saturday, during my time skipping around New England. And I'm not sure if I'll make it to Walden, or to New Hampshire, but I'll be thinking about this kind of stuff. You see, this will be my last business trip for a while. I resigned last week. Starting in December, I'll be focusing on writing, more or less, on a full time basis.

Because Thoreau and Frost are right, I think.

I am The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?

Just in case you forgot to mark your calendars -- Today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Yar!

Also, the handy "rap slang" to "pirate" conversion chart.

Not so good predictions.

Interesting charity idea. Lingerie models raise money to buy homeless people underwear. Cause everybody knows that homeless people need more thongs and push-up bras.

Are you following that idiot David Blaine on his 44 day fast suspended in a box? My favorite story (so far) is this one: Pranksters used a remote-control helicopter to test David Blaine’s resolve yesterday — by dangling a cheeseburger in front of him.

Thought this would have made a great episode of Queer Eye -- 'Fashion Fatwa'. (story half-way down page).

Salman Rushdie's partner, Padma Lakshmi, also said she contemplated getting her man a "Queer Eye" makeover, but thought better of it.

"He would kill me," she told The News' Spencer Morgan. "But you know that intelligence is very fashionable always. It's also a big aphrodisiac."

Salman? C'mon buddy -- go for it...

And finally, Wesley Clark makes it official. Hmmm. Maybe the Dem's DO have a chance in 2004...

Busy day. Expand your mind at Virtual Dali, read about David Sedaris reading Moby Dick, or watch the latest episode of Star Wars kid (site not terribly safe for work, but the page is)...

The Central Standard Film Festival opens tomorrow... the first festival to exclusively champion the stories and cinematic visions coming from the vast interior of our country. I'll have to check my calendar, because I would like to check out at least a couple of these...

And speaking of movies, I want to check out Bubba Ho-Tep. Bruce Campbell plays Elvis, who's currently living an a retirement home. No, really. He's the REAL Elvis. It was just an impersonator who OD'ed in the 70's. Ossie Davis plays John F. Kennedy. No, really. He's a black man in a wheel chair, but he's the real JFK -- the feds just dyed him black and some impersonator was assassinated.

So what do they do? They fight ancient Egyptian soul-sucking mummies in the old folks home. Really. (watch the trailer -- this looks fantastic!)

Well, I'm kind of stoked (using by best surfer-speak). My Dad brought over his old roll-top desk on Saturday. I cleaned it up good (it's been in storage for about 8 years, in pieces), and it's pretty amazing. First of all, it's massive, the way a good desk should be. I'm guessing it's around 1920's vintage, but who knows. It kind of looks like this one (in both size and "vintage", though not exactly the same design).

And here's the part I like: The desk was originally used as the front desk of the Andrews Hotel in downtown Minneapolis (nary a stone's through from where I currently work). As the story goes, it was a run-down fleabag type of hotel -- something you might find in, oh, say a Jim Jarmusch movie -- and a man was murdered sitting in this chair during a robbery. I've been looking on the internet but haven't been able to verify that, but that's the version I'm sticking with. My dad picked it up about 20-some years ago, from the son of a guy who used to work at the Andrews.

Anyway, whether or not anyone was killed sitting at it, it's still a great desk. And maybe a desk story isn't that exciting for a Monday, but it is to me...

The rest of youse can check out the Stealth Disco site.

This, I can't wait for. Coffee and Cigarettes. Jim Jarmusch's new movie (actually 10 separate vignettes), features a cast that includes Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray, Iggy Pop, Tom Waits, GZA and RZA of Wu-Tang Clan, Steve Buscemi and Alfred Molina.

Doing what? Just having coffee and cigarettes.

And that's why Jarmusch is brilliant. Eons ago I saw "Coffee and Cigarettes -- Somewhere in California" (the Tom Waits/Iggy Pop vignette) at the Walker Art Center. They were doing a Jarmusch retrospective, and it was the short before the screening of Down By Law, his masterpiece in my opinion. What's Down By Law about? Well, according to Roger Ebert:

`Down by Law" is a movie about cheap whiskey and black coffee, all-night drunks and lost jobs, and the bad times you can have with good-time girls. It tells the story of a pimp, an unemployed disc jockey and a bewildered Italian tourist and how they escape from jail and wind up slogging through the Louisiana bayous looking for a decent place to have breakfast.

I became a Jarmusch fan that night.

The Hollywood Reporter gives Coffee and Cigarettes a favorable review.

Pretty sad news in the entertainment biz today. Watch Johnny Cash's Hurt video. Then have a cup of coffee, black.

This is the worst super-hero ever!

And check out the new librarian action figure, with amazing push-button shushing action!

Some guy on E-bay likes praising people -- in his own special way.

I know a couple of people that will get a kick out of this -- McSweeney's The Screenwriter's Vacation.

US forces capture Saddam impersonator -- Jerry Mathers.

Seriously -- this is a real business. Have sub-B-list actors call you on your birthday -- like Horshack. Oh Mistah Kot-tah... onkpf onkpf onkpf...

Funny Strong Bad e-mail this week.

Try Googlisms. Here's what "Brian" will produce:

brian is crowned
brian is president of carey theological college and associate
brian is still brian
brian is not a gentleman
brian is an arsonist
brian is an asshole
brian is famous
brian is marrying me
brian is silicon chef
brian is appearing in an independent film called dreamers and i
brian is me

Yep, that pretty much sums it up...

Robert Frost Greeting Cards.

Weird military hand signals.

Make your next powerpoint replete with fast food fonts... And use these for clip art.

Click on the links next to the penguin for some pretty weird shockwave stuff. Fun.

I haven't watched many movies lately, so I'm about ready to start catching up. I desperately want to see Bill Murray's latest -- Lost in Translation. The early reviews are even whispering about "Oscar winning" performances. But I just like Bill Murray. Gunga Gulunga.

Sadly, Warren Zevon passed away after a long illness. On a completely tangential movie note, I remember having a conversation a long time ago about An American Werewolf in London. I liked a lot of the music in that one, and my friend pointed out that all of the songs have the word "Moon" in the title. Moon Shadow. Moondance. Bad Moon Rising. etc. Yet, ironically, I don't think they ever used Zevon's "Werewolves of London". Now I can't listen to of any of those songs without thinking about the movie or the friend who told me that... Weird.

Did anyone read this story? It seems a bunch of nutty diehards out in California go to Disneyland, like... every day. Watch closely among Disneyland’s tourists and you might spot the Disneyana people, protecting Walt’s vision and living most of their waking lives in the happiest place on Earth. What a bunch of FREAKS! Going to an amusement park every day -- why, that's just insane.

Only in California I tell ya...

From the land of sky blue waters... Come's, the beer refreshing... New controversy on the other side of my neighborhood. Seems that some nutty diehards want to put a commemoritive granite plaque of the Hamm's Beer Bear -- by Hamm's falls at Como Park. I'm for it!

Unfortunately, the city council rejected it. Drats! The Hamm's Bear is my all time favorite advertising mascot.

City Pages is running a nice long series on the oral history of First Avenue -- legendary home to Prince and the Revolution, The Replacements, The Suburbs, Husker Du, and pretty much every other local band that's "made it". Lots of good stories. I liked this one by the 'Mats former manager:

Peter Jesperson, Replacements manager: We did a show in the Entry and I remember I tried to put something on the flier that said "rock 'n' roll" and [Paul] Westerberg got pissed at me and said, "We ain't no rock 'n' roll band." I was like, What do you mean you're not a rock 'n' roll band? Of course you are. I finally convinced him to let me use "low-class rock." That was acceptable.

Ah, lots of good stuff up there. Go check it out.

48 consecutive days...

Another year come and gone. Today marks my 48th consecutive day at the fair. Crazy? Like a fox...

Still, I need a vacation... from my vacation. Very exhausting doing this, but oh so worth it -- as I'm sure you've figured out. And this year I added a little something. In addition to the daily photo galleries, I also have a downloadable 10-minute movie (currently in Real format) for your viewing pleasure.



Here's the last day >.

And here's the movie >.

(This is fairly low quality due to the bandwidth thingie and it's about 17.5 MB's -- but I'll make a high-quality DVD as well, for posterity's sake. Please save this to your hard drive to help prevent me from exceeding my daily bandwidth quota. Just right-mouse click on the link and select "save target as..." and save it to your hard drive.)

Bird's Eye View

Yesterday Mom came over and we hit the major attractions -- Sky Ride, Sky Glider, Ferris Wheel, Food, etc. I didn't take many pictures, but it wasn't because I was lazy. I was taking video, so I'll have to see how that turns out.



And here's Day 11 >.