Day Five!

Made another 2 trips over. Most of the pictures from today are of my nephews and niece. Getting tired and less wordy.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Day 5.

Day Four!



Maroon and Gold day. Lots of gopher activity around.

Mom came over and we spent a good 5 hours taking in the experience. We rode the double-ferris wheel (way more thrilling than I remembered), and we rounded out the day by meeting Santa Claus (again).

I also met him in 2001, and in 2002 (actually, twice). When you're a regular, you ARE a regular. I suppose I could be with worse company.

Anyway, the pictures speak for themselves. Time to take a nice hot shower and relax.

Day 4.

Day Three!

Today was 4-H day, so I went to some of the animal judging events.

The highpoint was getting to see this kid show his sheep in a tricked out wheelchair. Somebody outfitted his motorized wheelchair with a special "sidecar" that was outfitted to have a sheep strapped in, so he could walk it around the ring. Quite brilliant.

Tomorrow morning I have the milk run. Well, *I* don't have the milk run, but I'll be there to take pictures of a few others that are going. Then Mom's coming over. Should be a busy day.

Day 3.

Day Two!

Well, this weekend should provide a little more time to explore. I dropped off Maddy with Grandma, so she'll be puppy sitting for a few days while I hound around solo.

I tried the fried rice on a stick yesterday. Not bad, actually. They roll up the fried rice into 3 little balls, batter and deep fry them, and they could can put a few different sauces on them.

I still haven't actually wandered into any of the buildings yet. I'll do more of that this weekend.

Stay tuned. Time to get back at it.

Day 2.

Day One!

Where does one start? Well, for me, the fair doesn't "officially" begin until I've put away my first Pronto Pup, and then washed it down with a cool cup of 1919 Root Beer.

Yesterday I didn't spend too much time at the fair -- just a couple of hours. Mostly, I started like I usually do, by wandering around aimlessly, checking things out. Fortunately, everything was RIGHT where I left it.

I'm dropping off the pup with Grandma later today, so I should be able to get in some serious fairtaking over the weekend.

The big news yesterday was that John Kerry made an unannounced visit the fair. I missed him, though. I took a picture of my first pronto pup next to (what I thought) was a tree sculpture. Maybe that was Kerry? Who knows..

Al Franken's coming on Saturday, possibly to test the waters for running a senate bid.

So, I'm tired. Here's day one.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Okay, I just read another story about Kerry at the fair in the Pioneer Press. "During his hour-long visit, Kerry shook hundreds of hands, held quite a few babies, patted a few cows and, yes, ate a corn dog.

To be precise, it was a Poncho Dog, neatly dressed in mustard and ketchup by Minnesota Public Radio's Garrison Keillor.

"He's got ketchup and mustard on it — he's got my vote," Danny Norrd yelled as Kerry brandished his corn dog. Norrd, a mustard-only man, said he thought it spoke well of Kerry that he took both condiments."

A PONCHO DOG? Really, dude. Way uncool. I'm flip-flopping over to Nader for sure now. And puts ketchup on it? Okay, since his wife makes ketchup, I guess I overlook that faux pas. But a PONCHO DOG? That's such a rip-off of the pronto pup it's sad.

My new mission -- make sure Al Franken doesn't make the same mistake. Don't worry, Al. I'm a comin'...

-- This ad paid for by the Weiner-Dun-In-A-Bun Veterans for Truth.

Finally!

Once again, we're shooting for another 12 day marathon of fairgoing. As long-time viewers will attest to, I've attended the fair every day of the State Fair during this millenium -- 48 consecutive days and counting. This year (hopefully) will be no different. Hmmm.

What sort of trouble can I get into this year?

A couple of things before I begin this year's adventure.

Q: Are you going to post pictures every day?

A: Posting may be daily (or not, who knows?). I'll catch up when I can, but it looks to be a busy year, so be patient. If I don't update on one day, just check back the next.

Q: How many pictures will you take?

A: Since I've already photographed just about everything at the fair, I'm not sure exactly how many pictures I'll be taking. Bottom line is that I don't have a quota. Some days it may only be a picture or two, and others it might be more.

Q: Did you get a new camera?

A: Duh. Where you have you been? I always get a new camera for the fair. This year I've added the Canon Digital Rebel SLR camera to the stable, so I'm hoping to get some good shots.

Q: What's the deal with your domain name?

A: You may notice that I've also registered "myprontopups.com", and I'm actually going to be moving the new pictures over there. I have a new hosting service that will allow for more disk space and greater bandwidth, so I can post larger, higher-quality images. My regular domain "myprontopup.com" will be unaffected by this, so you don't need to change your bookmarks or anything.

Q: How about your e-mail?

A: For e-mail, send it to myprontopup@gmail.com. My regular e-mail flaked out for some reason and I'm not getting messages any more. Sigh. If you've sent any e-mails in the past day or two, please resend it to the gmail account and should get it.

Stay tuned... things are just getting started...

Oh, and if you can read this, you are WAY too close... to the fair.

5 lbs. of grease. Git in mah belly...

Just a matter of hours now...

tap.. tap.. tap..

While we all wait, go check out the Star Tribune's coverage of the fair here.

And don't forget to click on the multimedia link on the right that says 'Iron Gut' State Fair food adventure: A classic is born. If you're too lazy, you can also click here (Windows Media).

Baby, hold on tight. It's going to be a bumpy night...

You can't mess with tradition. "The essence of the fair never changes," he said. "People in Minnesota have a very deep sense of ownership in their fair. I keep in mind a line from someone who told me, 'When I walk into the front gate, I'm 7 years old again.' That's why we need to preserve what the fair is."

The Tradition of the Minnesota State Fair. New treats for 2004 include the Cob Dog (battered deep-fried corn on the cob on a stick), Safari Snacks (caribou, antelope, elk, boar, alligator, kangaroo and other big game meat sticks), and a deep-fried Reuben-style sandwich on a stick.

And rounding out the tradition articles -- Tinkering with Tradition.

Some pictures I took yesterday at the world famous Peppermint Twist drive-in in Delano. I'm just practicing for the fair.

Swift Boat Veterans for (cough*bullsh*cough) Truth, redux. Yes, most of these idiots have already been debunked, but here's the latest. The newly obtained records of Larry Thurlow show that he, like Kerry, won a Bronze Star for the same engagement and that Thurlow's citation said he came under "constant small arms fire," the newspaper reported Thursday... Of course, Thurlow swore in an affidavit last month that Kerry was "not under fire" when he rescued Lt. James Rassmann from the Bay Hap River.

The information was obtained by the Freedom of Information because Thurlow said he would not authorize release of his military records because he feared the Kerry campaign would discredit him.

Dude, you just discredited yourself. Either YOU lied about Kerry not winning the medal because he was under "enemy fire", or you lied when you accepted a bronze star for yourself for the EXACT same conflict. Take your pick.

Can you do the Lynndie?

Child Pimp 'n Ho costumes.

From the land of sky blue wa-ha-ters... comes the beer refreshing... comes the beer refreshing... Haaaammmmms.

ONE WEEK LEFT to the State Fair! I'm officially starting my taper. Postings will be slow for the next week as I rest up...

Bad dog. I said "ferry", not "fetch".

Interesting. Putting sugar in someone's gas tank doesn't really work after all.

This is probably more for the ladies? Next time some unwelcome dude asks for your e-mail address, you send him to Paper Napkin. "It must be a mistake": Nope. You got an address in the form anyname@papernapkin.net or anyname@paamail.com, right? Well, all we here at papernapkin.net do is send rejection notices. If you got this email address, it wasn't an accident. No, you've definitely been rejected.

Olympuke -- the new font. (opens PDF file)

Winnie-the-Pooh is my co-worker. March 19: Winnie's friends came by to take him out for lunch today: a little pig, a pissed-off-looking rabbit, an adolescent kangaroo, and a tiger that had to be on coke. Kirk said he saw them at Sbarro eating their slices and looking scared out of their minds. I guess they live way out in the country or something, so I bet the big city blew their minds.

Okay, so maybe I should be a betting man after all. As predicted, the Thorpedo took the gold. Put another shrimp on the barbi...

Okay, here's my video pick of the week (keeping with this whole Olympics theme -- Chariots of Fire.

Soon, they better start testing those Brazilian athletes... for caffeine.

I've got an e-mail in my pocket, and I think it's starting to melt.

WWJD? Hmmm. I guess baby Jesus doesn't love children with wheat allergies.

One of the guys in my puppy class took some pictures from Graduation on Saturday. Here's Maddy and me.

Busy weekend. Maddy graduated from her 2nd training class on Saturday. "Works and Plays Well With Others" -- A+. "Knows here basic commands like sit, down, leave it, stay." -- B, maybe B-. "Listens to Dad" -- solid D. She must be going through some doggie-tweener phase where I'm the LAST person she want so obey. Sigh. Maybe I'll get her that new Ashlee Simpson CD and take her to the mall. Goofy kid.

Then, later... What do a trip-hop group named after Max Max, a grungey girl punk band, and a transgender heavey-metal glam rock band have in common?

Luckily, me. I checked out the Pizza Luce party on Saturday and it was mad. Simply mad. Mel Gibson and The Pants were pretty decent, but the Soviettes (sadly) were plagued by bad electronics. They only played about 25 minutes of their set, thanks to some screeching feedback from the amps. But, much to my surprise, All The Pretty Horses rounded out the evening nicely.

All The Pretty Horses. I've heard "about" them for some time, but I've never actually heard them live. All I can say is, Wow! One of the best shows I've seen in a long time. And, just for the record, I don't even particularly like heavy metal or glam rock. All The Pretty Horses is fronted by Venus, the subject of last year's documentary Venus from Mars, a married man living a very typical suburban life here in Minneapolis. Well, except for the fact that he is also taking hormone treatments, has breasts (he goes topless in his act), and wears fishnet stockings along with his corset. All that aside, s/he was simply awesome -- a heavy wall of distorted guitar and wailing vocals. Very interesting show. Plus, I think the party got a little bigger than even Pizza Luce imagined. They had 6 porta-potties, and I'm guessing about 5,000 people showed up. You do the math.

Then, (cue trumpets) the Olympics! I'm really not into this whole Olympics thing. Never been a big fan. But, I do like a few of the events, so I did catch a bit of the action this weekend. Tolerable sports include Beach Volleyball, Gymnastics and Swimming. Swimming is my particular fave, and I'm axiously awaiting the big 200M Free race later tonight. It's basically Ian Thorpe vs. Michael Phelps, plus Pieter van den Hoogenband and Grant Hackett. All four are the FASTEST 200M swimmers EVER. In history. All have held the world record in this event. It should be smokin'. As an American, I suppose I need to root for Phelps, but personally, I think Thorpe has got a better stroke. It's perfection. So, if I were a betting man, which I am not, I'd take Thorpe for the Gold. Check back tomorrow for the results.

And that was the weekend. And now for something fun.

Things my girlfriend and I have argued about.

I just installed your gutters... Now, watch this drive!...

I tell ya, it's always an adventure in the home improvement department. Yesterday I had a couple of knuckleheads install gutters on my house. And by knuckleheads, I mean complete morons. I referred to them as Bush and Cheney.

Bush worked on the backside of my house while Cheney listened to "Enter Sandman" and did the front. For about 3 hours, I heard the unpleasant squeak and grind of metal being ripped off my house. Coupled with the grinder saw, the Metallica blaring from the boombox, the nails pounding, and the incoherent babbling and girlish giggles of Bush and Cheney -- ugh, I had a headache in short order.

So, after a good three hours of enduring this aural nightmare, I finally decided to venture outside to see how they were doing. I went to the back door, opened it about 4 inches, and BANG!

Bush had installed the gutters too low, so when I tried to open the door, I was literally "guttered in". You'd think they'd teach this in gutter school -- how NOT to put the gutters right over a door and block it in. Bush must have been AWOL in Alabama that day.

Sigh. So I went to the front and yelled out the window, "Um, fellas? I think we got a little... um, situation out back." Then in was more cracking, squeaking, and banging as they worked to lift it up.

Stupid gutter monkeys. But, at the end of the day, it all got done and looks greatly improved. I'm not paying the remainder of the bill until the next rain, just to make sure they all work correctly. I still have my suspicians that Bush and Cheney mucked something up. They always do.

In other news. Pizza Luce is having a big free concert on Saturday. I'd really like to check out The Soviettes, but the other bands look pretty impressive as well. Mel Gibson and the Pants, All the Pretty Horses, The Heiruspecs.

Oh yeah, I just checked out a couple of The Soviette's videos. Me likey. Plus, their latest LPII was just added to iTunes (it wasn't there last week). I guess I'll be buying that.

The movie I, Robot is based on Isaac Asimov's 3 rules for robots. What about Isaac Hayes?

Isaac Hayes' 3 laws are as follows:

A robot must risk his neck for his brother man, and may not cop out when there's danger all about.

A robot must be a sex machine to all the chicks, except where such actions conflict with the will of his main woman.

A robot must at all times strive to be one bad motha - shutchyomouth.

TWO WEEKS!!!!

Music you love, but won't admit to. Well, except for me. Why, I included the Pina Colada song on my latest car mix just the other day. Bully for me.

Sexy Brians, redux. Men with "front vowels" in their names -- sounds formed at the front of the mouth like the "a" in Matt -- were considered sexier than men with "back vowel" sounds like the "au" in Paul, she concluded. Brian's a front vowel, right?

Hmmm. Salman Rushdie's now bucking for an Ashcroft fatwa, I think. According to him, porn is vital to freedom.

Pitchfork's the top 100 albums of the 70's. The Clash gets the #2 spot, so that's good.

Stairway to Heaven, as it would have been written by Beethoven, Mahler, Glen Miller, etc.

I'm finally getting new gutters installed today. LeafGuard, baby! Guaranteed for life to never need cleaning -- or they do it...

Maddy, did you leave the refridgerator door open?

The temp yesterday topped out at 59 degrees. In AUGUST! Oy. Still, Maddy and I
made our trips up to the dog park and Como, and even though I'm not prepared to
admit it -- it let me feeling a bit wistful for autumn. The dog park has lots of
wooded trails, and I can only imagine how nice that's going to be in early October
once the leaves start turning. Also, I'm kind of yearning for a crackling fire in the fireplace, a nice cold porter, and a plate slathered with steaming meatloaf.
Soon enough, I suppose. Soon enough.

Got the latest issue of The Believer yesterday, and they had in interesting article on the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory). It's a personality test that used Minnesotans as its benchmark for normalcy is becoming corporate America's key to picking loyal employees.

That's right. The sample group for normalcy was created decades ago using a fairly homogenous group of white, mostly rural, mostly Scandinavian, Minnesotans. Speaking on behalf of my "community" -- you guys are so screwed. By the way, if you're taking the test anytime soon, I'll give you a little tip. "Hotdish is my favorite food!" -- the answer is TRUE.

Paul Westerberg has been busy. First, his new album Folker will be out on Sept. 7th -- conveniently timed to be exactly 1 day after the fair concludes. Next, he's working on a film score for a new animated film project. The story of a domesticated grizzly bear and a mule deer attempting to elude hunters is based on the work of cartoonist Steve Moore, whose one-panel comic "The Bleachers" is syndicated nationally. Actors Ashton Kutcher, Martin Lawrence and Debra Messing will be among those lending their voices to the film.

Damn you Ashton Kutcher! Don't make it crappy, okay?

His last film score was the grungey Singles soundtrack for Cameron Crowe. According the article, he's also going to be the subject of a few scenes in Aurora Borealis, about some guy that tries to track down Paul Westerberg.

Today it may squeak up to 63 degrees. Brrr.

Build a better Bush. Mine looked like Chauncey Gardner.

What's on YOUR tombstone? I made a Dick Cheney memorial -- Go F* Yourself.

I think this is real. Believe it or not, every seventh conductor is being connected by a non-reversible tremiopipe to the differential girdle spring on the up end of the grammameters. Check this out. I'll expect a book report by Monday.

Why Strongbad shouldn't have his own children's show on TV.

The Cube, Gleamed. Favorite Gerund Movie Titles, Un-Gerunded.

Seen the new Swift Boat Veterans for (eh hem) Truth ad against Kerry? Check out the real facts behind the ad. The statement Elliott now says was wrong had suggested that Kerry did not deserve the Silver Star -- his highest decoration -- which was awarded for an incident in which Kerry beached his boat and then pursued and killed an enemy soldier on the shore. Elliott had previously defended Kerry on that score when his record was questioned during his 1996 Senate campaign. At that time Elliott came to Boston and said Kerry acted properly and deserved the Silver Star. Here's Elliott's retraction in the Boston Globe.

What Kerry did or didn't do in Vietnam is kind of a moot point anyway. I think it's pretty clear that at least he wasn't AWOL in Alabama snorting coke or driving drunk. 'Nuff said. Check out Bush's military record if it's still an issue.

Speaking of coke-snorting, alcoholics... Latest Bush mistatement: Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

At least Bush has a solid grasp of the concept of sovereignty.

Ever wonder how much gold is in Goldschlager?

CIA asks Bush to stop blog.

Big weird animation of Radiohead's Creep.

Lots of useless charts. Just like the ones you'll be reviewing at work today.

Maddy and I are going to the dog park in a bit. We've been going pretty much every day and I have to admit, it's a lifesaver. One hour in the morning of her racing around and crashing into other dogs (literally) makes for a very peaceful afternoon. The dog park certainly is an interesting place. There's a different "group" that hangs out there at different times of the day. I typically go in the late morning, which for some reason corresponds with what I call the lesbian group. I don't know why, but the Husky seems to be the breed of choice for lesbians. Huskies and mutts. Anyway, I much prefer that 'group' to the early morning Type-A yuppie freaks who walk their dogs with lattes before heading off to work. That group always has the pedigreed dogs with weird names. And that group doesn't want to get dirty. At a dog park.

There's 2 other bassets that we occasionally see -- Mabel and Fred. Both are young and about the same size as Maddy. Mabel looks like she could be Maddy's sister because the similarity in size and color is uncanny. I think she would have to be Maddy's best friend so far, but unfortunately she only comes on the weekends. As Forrest Gump would say, they go together like "peas and carrots".

So, that's the dog report. In lieu of any other news (slow week, I know). Seacrest, out!

THREE WEEKS and counting...

You have bad taste in music. Fortunately, I don't. Here's my iMix for the day (Music for Drinks with Umbrellas).

The Brian Setzer Orchestra -- Hawaii Five-O
Tahiti 80 -- Listen
Toots & The Maytals, Bootsy Collins & The Roots -- Funky Kingston
Bebel Gilberto -- Aganju (Latin Project Remix)
Wheat -- I Met a Girl
Los Amigos Invisibles -- Ease Your Mind
Jorge Ben -- Xica Da Silva
Van Halen -- Jamie's Cryin'
Joan Jett and Paul Westerberg -- Let's Do It
Rod Stewart -- Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? (DJ Halou Remix)
Res -- They Say Vision
Edwyn Collins -- A Girl like you
Coolio -- Fantastic Voyage
Yerba Buena -- Fire
Rupert Holmes -- Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
The Replacements -- Only If We Must

Legendary photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson passwed away at 95. Check out some of his pictures here and here.

Bring it on! The Boss and a host of others are going on an anti-Bush tour. Rock the vote!

Not sure how accurate this is -- but someone put together an electoral map predicting the election. I hope it's right.

Sigh. I guess you don't need to go to Amersterdam to get a Dutch disease anymore.

How well can you parallel park?

Tuesday List Terrificness: War on terror edition.

Slow news week, eh? I'm about ready to start my State Fair taper...

Go on... ask the subservient president to do something.

St. Paul isn't so cool after all. Our loser Mayor just endorsed Bush, and he's supposedly a democrat. I'm sure this has NOTHING to do with the fact that Coleman endorsed him (as a democrat-turned-republican himself), and now Coleman is a co-chair for the re-elect Bush compaign. This guy is so not getting my vote in the next election. Big political wuss.

Bill Maher's back on HBO, and it's good. In the season premiere, both Michael Moore and Maher got down on their hands and knees and begged Nader not to run.

I should definitely get one of these. The Orvis "Buzz off Bush!" shirt.

City Pages' I Hate 1984.

Lastly, some pictures from Marit, Kurt, and Jay's birthday party from Saturday.