Yard work

Well, I can say that I'm actually in pretty good shape this year regarding the lawn. This spring the grass in my backyard was literally "fried" from almost a year of steady dog pee. I had to dig up a big chunk of it and reseed, but... hey, it turned out. Oh, and I did finally start giving Maddy some supplements that are supposed to prevent it from happening in the future. So far, so good.

Unfortunately, my brother took this picture while it was still in progress. Grrrr.

Here's what it looks like today. So, take that!


And of course Maddy is doing just fine. I suppose I should add a couple more pictures of her acting the goof in the backyard...



And listed in the obvious file -- 45 percent of women said their pets are cuter than their partners.

Local story about how Minnesota's are getting obsessed with Dog Parks. While national dog activists believe the off-leash park got its start in California, they agree that Minnesota has pushed ahead as one of the leaders of the pack. Minnesota dog enthusiasts led in part by ROMP (Responsible Owners of Mannerly Pets) have proven themselves to be "one of the best off-leash groups in the country."

How often do I go to the dog park? I would say 8-10 times per week. No. Seriously. And yes, my "park" is a ROMP park.

Ahh... Finally, a legal document I can understand -- the living will. Any such decision shall be made solely by consulting a Living Will -- either Will Smith or Will Ferrell. If neither of these actors is alive or able to exercise their "willpower," then this document shall serve as the final authority in determining whether to keep me alive, unless of course my wife still wants me around for tax purposes.

Avast, ye mateys. Johnny Depp is reprising his Jack Sparrow character. No, not to swashbuckle some filthy sea-dogs, but to shoot Hunter S. Thompson out of a cannon. Arrrrgh!

Upcoming and much needed Thomas Frank titles. Is Minnesota Okay?

Conan O'Brien on the Future of Television. And, just as televisions grow larger and more complicated, so will remote controls. In fact, changing channels will soon require people to literally jump from button to button. Trying to change the channel while simultaneously lowering the volume will require two people and will frequently lead to kinky sex.

This looks simply awful.

I've got bad link mojo this week. Maybe next week this interweb thing will be funnier...

Graduation cap hack. (Make sure you click on the video link at the bottom of the page)

A long time ago... in a galaxy just down the street, in some middle-class family's basement... The parade of unfortunate Star Wars costumes.

Pretty funny. Return to Duluth. (I went to college in Duluth, so this is probably funnier to me). Also, did you know that Duluth almost started World War III?

Oh, and another Minnesota movie coming out. Milwaukee, Minnesota. Maybe it's set in Wisconsin, though. Oh, I don't know.

Cool "unofficial" state fair T-shirts -- State Utensil and Chick Magnet and Corndog. CORNDOG??? Pffft!

Oh, this is cool. I've soooo got to teach Maddy how to do this.

My dentist is cooler than yours!

I went in yesterday morning to get my permanent crown fitted, and guess what? While I was waiting for the crown glue (or whatever that is) to set, he steps away and then comes back with 3 CD's of David Byrne music. Actually, it was his assistant Kimberly that made the CD's, but... Wow! I'm so impressed. Totally made my day that they would do that...

So, in return I burned a couple of CD's for both of them, that I'll have to drop off later today. Here's the jacket cover for one of them.



Anyway, if anyone needs a good dentist in the St. Paul area, let me know. Can't promise that you'll get any free CD's out of the deal, but who knows?

Why does stuff like this make me happy? Deere John.

VH1's I love the 30's.

Vote for Pedro. Yes, mouseketeers, Pedro (and Kip) are going to be coming to town. Ligers, and ligers, and bears, oh my...

The all-time top 100 voices in movies...

Sappy. Bestest friends forever. "One would never have thought that a rhino and a goat would get on very well. We were all shocked."

Al Franken just bought a townhouse in Minneapolis. Why? To establish residency so he can whip the pants off of Sen. Norm Coleman in 2008. Can't wait! Maybe he'll start bringing up more issues like this.

37,985,002,142 miles to Wall Drug -->

Paul Westerberg's atrociously named new album was released yesterday -- Besterberg: The Best of Paul Westerberg.

Personally, I really don't think it's the best collection of his songs, but that's me. I was looking for it on iTunes, and only a few songs are available. Oddly enough, the subset of songs is called "The Resterberg" (sigh). There's only 3 new (or, previously unreleased) tracks on the new album, so I was able to pluck those off iTunes, so I didn't have to buy the whole album.

Keeping with the lame name theme, I could put together a decent collection of his not-so-great songs -- Worsterberg.

Wacky Norwegian soldiers do a video of the Beach Boy's Kokomo. Only there's is a bit more satirical -- Kosovo.

Tools or Actions in Photoshop That, Were They Applicable to Real Life, Would Prove Useful at Various Stages of a Relationship.

Awesome 80's Prom coming to Minneapolis. Time to break out my pirate hat. Yar!

Robert Altman is set to start filming A Prairie Home Companion here in St. Paul in July. Which means, lots of stars in town -- Meryl Streep, Woody Harrelson, John C. Reilly, Lily Tomlin, and Lindsay Lohan.

Open invitation: Lindsay Lohan, will you go to the 80's Prom with me?

If not, could you ask Meryl if she'll go? or Woody Harrelson? Maybe?

Meet the world -- flags and their meanings.

John Cleese is writing a screenplay for a new claymation movie (ala Wallace & Grommit). Should be interesting.

Anakin Dynamite? Gosh!

Hey kids, looking for some fun this summer? Ask your parents to send you to Ted Nugent's Kamp for Kids. Sounds like something straight out of the Bill Murray classic, Meatballs.

Speaking of: Comments overheard at a brainstorming meeting between Ted Nugent and the editors of Gourmet magazine where they were discussing the upcoming book GOURMET MAGAZINE'S VEGAN COOKING WITH TED NUGENT.

Are couch potatoes more creative? Yes.

Check out NBC's new summer lineup. Wow! I feel dumber already.

For my writing group this week, Dan posed the following challenge:

If you have no new pages or concepts and you want to stretch your writing muscles, here's an assignment: write a scene about a water craft (boat, raft, inner tube, whatever) on a river that is headed for the lip of a waterfall. There can be people involved, on the craft or on the banks or wherever. Your call. One scene only; no dramatic resolution is necessary.

First of all, "there can be people involved". Well, duh. How are you supposed to write a scene without characters? But whatever, I thought I'd give it a shot, so I cam e up with this -- A Routine Expedition.

Anyway, that's not going to make any sense to those of you who didn't grow up watching Land of the Lost. The opening credits kind of sets up what inspired me.

I half-jokingly said that I should start working on a script for this, because SURELY somebody in Hollywood would do a remake of it.

Well, got an e-mail from Dan this morning. He was listening to public radio on the way home from the meeting, and heard an interview with Brooke Shields. Apparently she's married to a screenwriter and he's (gulp) doing the screenplay to the new Land of the Lost movie. Starring Will Ferrell and Jack Black. Won't be out for a couple of years, but man... I've got crappy timing. First The Butterfly Effect and now this.

Holy Schnikes, Batman! Robin's big date.

Yeah. That's all I got today.

A montage of very special Rosie O'Donnell moments from her breakout performance in Riding On The Bus With My Sister.

A Ninja pays half my rent. (opens as .wmv file in media player). I think I posted this once before, but oh well... it's still funny.

At long last -- the liberal response to The Drudge Report... Welcome to The Huffington Post, chock-filled with celebrity insights. Today, for instance, they're starting off with Mike Nichols, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, John Cusack, Ellen Degeneres, and David Mamet. Should be interesting...

One funny thing from yesterday. I went out to brunch with my Mom, and as we're sitting at the table, our server comes over and says something like "blah blah blah dogpark?" I turn and realize after a moment that it's Lulu's mom from the dog park. I don't know any of the people names, with a few exceptions, but I know lots of dogs now. Lulu's one of my favorites.

Small world.

Would things stop falling out of my head?!!

The stupid temporary crown was apparently 'too temporary', as it fell off last night as I was treating myself to some Haagen Daz Banana Split ice cream.

Just called the dentist and they're closed for the weekend. I left a pleading message. Hopefully they can do something, otherwise it's going to be a long weekend of nothing but mashed potatoes.

Not that that's a bad thing. Still...

Sigh.

Talking Head

I had my first crown put in yesterday (at least the temporary one). And, as expected, the night before, just after dinner, I wiggled around with my tongue and FLOOOP, out came a big chunk of tooth. Wasn't quite ready for that. The tooth in question was in pretty rough shape, thanks to one humdinger of a filling I got back in high school. Damn you, Mountain Dew. Oh well, it's over with now.

Now, I suppose they have to ask, but when I settled in to my chair the hygienist asked, "Do you want us to numb the tooth?"

Whaa? Of course I want to to numb it! Super-size it in fact! I mean, what kind of question is that anyway? "Do I want to be numbed..." Sheesh.

Sensing I was a bit freaked, she also asked if I wanted Nitrous Oxide, and that was equally a no-brainer. So, 2 big shots of novacaine and some breezy goofy gas pouring through my lungs, coupled with my beachy Brazilian music I brought with on my iPod, I was set.

In came the dentist. He's exactly the kind of guy you want as a dentist. He seems very... square. But I like that. I want my dentist to be hopelessly boring. Anyway, he asked what I was listening to, and when I told him, he asked, "Have you ever listened to David Byrne?"

Huh? You? David Byrne? So, I was like, "Yeah, actually it was David Byrne's music that turned me on to Jorge Ben... which I'm listening to right now..."

He jumps up and scuttles out of the room, and then comes back in with the Rei Momo CD. "Have you heard this? I just got it today!"

Anyway, turns out he's a huge Talking Heads fan, and of the Tom Tom Club, and listens to The Current every day. So, as he's got two fists plunged inside my maw, he was going on about Talking Heads music. Ironically, talking was the one thing my head was not capable of doing.

So, I survived. And I recommended that he get the Beleza Tropical CD. I sure hope he likes it, because I have to get my permanent crown in 2 weeks.

Trent Reznor released one of his songs as a Garageband file, so fans could remix their own versions. Pretty cool idea... until... somebody mixed it with Britney Spears. The result: Toxic Trent.

Top 10 Bizarre Films.

Some people are inappropriately dressed.

Conspiracy Theory Rock!

The McDonald's Bathroom Attendant.

What am I doing right now? Find out at Dionne Warwick's Cosmic Peephole.

Bark in the Park

Maddy and I went up to Como and did the Humane Society Bark in the Park walk on Saturday.



One unexpected treat was that soon after we arrived, a woman came up to me and asked, 'what's your dog's name?'. When I told her, she smiled 'I thought so! Remember Beatrice?' and she pointed over to her hubby running along with another little Basset. Beatrice is Maddy's sister.



The both have the same markings, but Beatrice was the runt of the litter. She's about 20 lbs. smaller than Maddy. Still pretty cute though.



We completed the 5K walk in just under an hour and a half. Afterwards Maddy crashed big time. So did her dad.